Saturday, October 25, 2008

I feel my Saviors Love...

All this week my heart has been so full that I felt I needed to write about what I am feeling. I wanted to share the love that I have for my Savior, Jesus Christ.
As a child and through my teenage years I always felt close to my Savior. I had no problems saying my prayers, reading my scriptures, bearing my testimony to others. I always had His spirit with me, I didn't feel like I ever had to ask, He was just always there with me. I never found myself in a situation that I could not handle. I never felt pressure to smoke or drink or to do things that I knew where wrong. I remember serving on the youth counsel of my stake and going to the different wards and bearing my testimony to the youth and knowing without a doubt everything I had said was true.....

Then one day I woke up and it was gone. I am not sure how it all happened, I just know that I could beg for the Spirit and still I could not feel the light of Christ in me. I felt like at this time in my life when I am suppose to raise my children and have the Spirit in our home I was coming up empty. I have felt many times that I was at the mercy of Him wanting things to be back the way they use to be. Many times crying just wanting Him to hear me......Heavenly Father are you really there?

I now can honestly say He is really there, I know he has heard each and everyone of my prayers. After ten years of struggling with my testimony and wondering of my self worth, I know He does hear me. I know that for every day for the past ten years He has been carrying me every step of the way. It's like in the poem Footprints in the sand.
My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you,During your times of trial and suffering,when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
I do know that God lives and that Jesus is the Christ. I know that I am a daughter of God. I know that one day I will return to be with Him again. I am thankful for the past ten years that have made me a stronger person. I am sorry for the people that I have hurt along the way. I am thankful for my family that have stuck by my side and made me see that this brighter day was coming. I am thankful for my Heavenly father giving me my husband and my three girls that I need more than
anything else this life has to offer.
I will leave you with the words to one of my favorite songs,
that has helped me through many dark days.
Hold On, The light Will Come.
The message of this moment is so clear,
And as certain as the rising of the sun; If your world is filled with darkness, doubt and fear,
Just hold on, hold on, the light will come.
Everyone who's ever tried and failed.
Stands much taller when the victory's won.
And those who've been in darkness for a while,
Kneel much longer when the light has come.
It's a lesson everyone of us must learn;
That the answers never come without a fight.
And when it seems you've struggled far too long,
Just hold on, hold on there will be light.
Hold on, hold on; the light will come.
If you feel trapped inside a never ending night,
If you've forgotten how it feels to feel the light,
If you're half crazy thinking you're the only one
who's afraid the light will never really come,
Just hold on, hold on the light will come.
The message of this moment is so clear,
And as certain as the rising of the sun;
If your world is filled with darkness, doubt and fear,
Just hold on, hold on the light will come.
Thank you for listening, I wanted to shout from the roof tops,
I do feel my Saviors Love.

1 comment:

Dani said...

You amaze me! I have had some similar doubts and worries, and to be perfectly honest, I still carry some of those doubts and worries even today. But, we just keep trying and keep working through it, don't we? The words to the song you posted are amazing and inspiring. Thank you for posting something so special--it really helped me a lot.